I took a day off yesterday, to sort of pay homage to the end of summer. My 17 year old Charlie started back to school, his senior year on Wednesday. My 22 year old goes back to college classes on the 23rd (but he'll be living at home this semester since he only has 6 hours to graduate and needs to save money.) And my 18 year old Aaron starts as a Freshman at Depaul University next week, we move him into his dorm on the 29th, then he has a week of Freshman Immersion, and regular classes will start on the 6th of Sept.
I spent most of the day either cleaning, running last minute pre-college errands, and quilting. While quilting, I kept thinking of how quickly the summer passed, how quickly my sons have grown up, and how quickly times goes by without our even noticing it. I'm no longer young, nor is my husband, although in our heads, we're still those 18 years olds who fell in love, at least I am, and I like to believe he thinks that way too.
Where did the days go? Did I do everything I wanted to do? - Nope. Is there still time left? - well maybe for some things, but not for others. It's too late to be crowned Miss America, it's too late to become a lawyer, it's too late to have another baby. So, I watch and enjoy my sons' youth, and accomplishments, and cheer on their dreams. After my daughter Hallie died, 22 years ago, I wrote a song called "Through Hallie's Eyes", about how as she was growing, and everything in the world seemed so fresh and wonderful to her, I felt myself seeing things in a new way too, through her eyes. Guess I'm doing that now, but with my boys.
Guess you could say I'm a little sad today, but quilting is a comfort. It's steady, and predictable, and calming, and quiet. Just me and my thoughts and the hum of the machine. I hope Nate likes it when it's done, and won't mind the few tiny tears that may have dropped on it during its birth.